Tuesday, June 30, 2009


So here I am at work, figured I'd take a break from my Twittering, blipping and stumbling. Clearly the evening has been a bit boring. Either your completely busy or completely bored. Ah well, gives me time to catch up on my social media outlets.

Lately I've been wondering a bunch of what ifs. What if this and what if that. People would say instead of wondering just do. Well I do. But comes a time when you just sit back and relax. And I gotta say, I'm enjoying some peace.

Go figure now that I start writing its time to wrap things up and get out early!
Stay tuned....more to come!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Sunday, June 28, 2009

That's the way..

Don't know how I'm gonna tell you. I can't play with you no more...

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Running, running,...

You are standing in the middle of the adventure that is your life: What's next?

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I want you to want me!

So most recently while talking to a good friend of mine (who is male by the way) I was asked a great question.
Bare with me, this may sound a bit like Dear Abby, or a little bit like a column Carrie Bradshaw might write...

He asked what did I want from a man. What did I want from a relationship. And I just blurted out a various list of wants. Such as...
-I want to laugh, have fun
-I want him to be my best friend>meaning I could tell him anything without being afraid he'll run, but also someone I want to share my day or something great that's happened with
-I want to be needed, desired, missed
-I want to have our own time/ I don't want to be one of those 24/7 couples
-I want to go out and experience great things, I wanna stay in and just lay like broccoli all day with him
Yadda, yadda, yadda
I may be missing something but you get the gist of it.

He said what I know, which is to bring down my wall. Which I'm aware of but then he said some other things.

"Most men don't know how to want a woman, because they think they have all the answers-
Loving and caring for a woman isn't about having all the answers. It's more important to have the right questions, than the wrong answers. If a man thinks he has all the answers, then he doesn't ask the right questions, which means he never really gets to know the woman. And if he never gets to know the woman he lacks understanding, which lacks awareness, which lacks compassion,which lacks love. So....somewhere between asking the right questions, and creating love, is where it gets complex."

Thank you Bryan for your insight & male point of view on this matter. You rock for letting me quote you!

I mean we all talk about not understanding the opposite sex & what do we do in this or that case.
In the past its true I've had my guard up pretty high. Get out before they hurt me. Never let them get to close. Be one of the guys. That was the past. Then I thought of a line I once heard~ "you can't taste the sweet without the sour".
So I thought about it ~I risk getting heartbroken but then again I risk finding something pretty great~
I mean you know that excited, silly, warm fuzzy stuff? It's actually pretty great when you feel it. Even if it doesn't last with him or her-- It's amazing, nothing can bring you down or get you higher. And yes the reverse-heartbreak is horrible & sad, but you should have no regrets. Cause those are the things that make you who you are. Have no woulda coulda shoulda's. Don't give up on what you want..don't STALK but don't let something great slip through your fingers because your scared.

My personal opinion is that you be yourself, be open to new adventures even if they become disasters because sometimes that stuff in the middle can be fantastic.

Who knows eventually your ending could skip the disaster and be simply amazing.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Trouble me

So Monday has come to an end finally. At home relaxing in front of the tube. Watching an old rerun of Will & Grace.

My friend called & she's one who likes to be on the phone for hours. And I sometimes have to suck it up & talk to her. Well listen, it was a good conversation though. It put me in a better mood, I have to admit.

On the oher hand, this full moon is really messing with everyone today. I think it's best to hide.....

Somewhere only we know

Sunday night, quiet time in the house. Today was a good day. Lots of writing, tweeting & great tv this afternoon. Got alot done aroud here & now it's just quality time for me & my reading.

I watched Gigi today. I adore this film. My mother & I used to watch it whenever it was on. Great film, love the music, love the romance that blooms between Gigi & Gaston.
Such a beautiful feel good film.

This coming week I've got alot on my plate, Dr appts for me & my lil Chazzy among a load of other things. Full work week. I think I may actually go to bed early tonight. Early for me being 1-130am. Just hope I don't wake up around 330am. Any other night but Monday I'm ok with it. But I'm actually pretty tired. So I'm thinking I should run with it. I usually don't sleep well at night unless, well unless I've been drinking or pretty happy. Now I'm happy don't get me wrong. I'm just not over the moon happy!

Here's to a great week ;)

Sunday, June 21, 2009

When you were young...

Happy Fathers Day! I do miss my Pop today, haven't seen him since last July. Almost a year, a fact that my mother brought to my attention not to long ago. Actually I think it was on Mothers Day that she brought that up to me. They live on the surface of the sun. You may call it Vegas. Same thing.

So it's Sunday, my little vacation has come to an end. All good things must come to an end. All good things come to those who wait. That is what they say about good things isn't it?
Why is that? Waiting & endings to good things. Not sure I like either of those sayings. And who are "they" anyway? It's always THEY say this or THEY say that. I wanna know who THEY are, cause personally I'd like a word with them.

Let me sing you a waltz..


Attached is the link to this lil tune July Delpy sings in Before Sunset. Very sweet, sad & romantic. I love these two films. Alot of great dialog & chemistry between these two, your hoping they will be able to be together and yet you never really know what happens. But there's the hope.
I'm a sucker for that romantic crap.
Richard Linklater wrote this sequel with Hawke & Delpy and I think they did a great job doing so.
In addition to this great romance that "almost" is you get such beautiful scenery. Their walks show us some parts of Paris that you wouldn't normally see in the films. Sure you do get a boat ride on the river which has been shown but there's so much more.

If you enjoy these films, I highly recommend the book The Hottest State by Ethan Hawke. He's got 2 books. This one is my favorite. It infact is one of my favorite books. I read it about once a year. And it always seems to effect me differently. Recently, last year I believe, they made a film based on it. Hawke directed it. It completely did the book justice.

It's the story of a young man from Texas (like Hawke) who falls deeply in love with this singer he meets when he moves to NYC to act. Now I've read in several places that he will use some of his life in his stories. However this book is fiction. It's said the women is based on his relationship with Lisa Loeb. Well I don't know if that's true but I do know the story moves me.
Hawke has such a beautiful, right on the money, way of describing the euphoric feelings of the beginning of a relationship to the agony of heartbreak. With all the frustrations in the middle.

I love this book, I wish I had the movie. I'd watch it now. Must remember to put that on my list to buy.

Well it's Sunday, I promised my friends I'd help them clean out their garage for their annual 4th of July bash. Ugg. But I Did promise so I will do it. I offered! That's Sunday for me. How tough it is to be me!
This long weekend of quality me time went rather quickly.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Shut up and let me go

Saturday morning, feeling lazy but good. It's freezing in this house but I'd rather be cold than hot. Haven't checked the temp outside but when I let Charlie & the girls out I could feel the heat.
I am feeling a bit scrappy this morning. Nothing out of the ordinary though.

Lately I've decided to let go of a few things in my life that bothered me or that I've been desperately holding on to. I am a genius at just letting things slip away & nobody really noticing right off the bat. This is probaly due to the fact that they didn't know how much it meant to me in the first place. A bit of self preservation.
So here's to keeping your feelings way way deep inside & self preservation. ;)

Enough of that crap, time to move on & that will be the last you'll see of any of that for a long time.

Friday, June 19, 2009

How Beautiful you are

Incase you haven't noticed, each blog is named after a different song. It just depends on my mood, what I've been listening to, etc. I've also been trying to add some art that I love. I have some friends in art so occasionally I might slip one of theirs in!
Todays turning out to be a lovely day in. I've got nothing I have to do and I'm so enjoying it!
Lifes good ya know?

Friday I'm in love

I love Fridays, who doesn't right? But this Friday I'm off & I'm am not doing a damn thing! I had plans to go out with a great friend of mine but she scored Cubs tickets so I'm free. With that I decided what a great day to chill, catch up on some painting, writing & maybe watch a movie.
I gotta tell you, I'm a big fan of "quality ME time".

Shhh shhh, it's oh so quiet..

So great day today at the ballgame! Cubs win at the last minute, very exciting!
And the bonus? I don't have to work until Monday. Which can I say is just fantastic!
However I do have a wee bit of a headache. It's a wonder with the amount of beer intake in a short period of time. Ouch.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Tonite, tonite..

So this thing that's been bothering me, it's been heavy on my mind lately. It's my uncle, I went to see him on Friday & I noticed he's getting way worse.
He was diagnosed with Parkensons about 2yrs ago & there are times he's shakier than others. But lately, it's much much worse.
What scares me is the majority of the time he's alone.
See he's the strong one & he's no longer that guy. He's been hiding how bad he is for awhile now, only it's getting to the point where he won't be able to soon. Thing with medications is they change so fast. I can just hope that the meds will progress fast enough for him to able to take
Not sure what to do, & I always like to have a plan. A way to fix things, people. I don't have that right now.
I'm clueless.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I just can't get enough..

Here comes the rain again..

So its Tuesday, I'm sitting at my desk feeling a bit creative. Wish I was at home, I feel like doing a bit of playing with my paints. But none the less here I am at work. Oh poo. Well its a rainy day, but I love the rain. especially if I'm indoors. It's peaceful. I never understood why some people hate it so much. I think its calming. Who knows if I could live in a place where it rains all the time. Ya never know till your in it.. But I think I'd like it for awhile, my hair on the other hand is a different story. I'd be stuck with a curly/wavy mess. Ah hell, I'd make it work!
So whats this talk of moving? Well I am currently putting off the inevitable. I've got to move in January and while I have a few months ahead of me, I gotta tell you I am so not looking forward to it.
I hate moving. The process sucks plain and simple. But I knew where I'm living was a temporary thing. Hell I'm the one who said it. But let me stress again~~~ I hate moving ~~~
Packing, searching for a place, blah blah blah. But who am I kidding, I'm sure it'll be great and it will all be fantastic once the actual moving part is done. Again I've got plenty of time. And then....
On to bigger and better things!!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Happiness is a violin playing goat..

Just another Manic Monday....

Well here it is Monday. Ick. I am not a fan. Not even a little bit. But yet here I am. Worked my tail off this morning so I have decided to spend a little time on the blog this afternoon. Why not? I could use a break!
I was going to post a story that I wrote awhile back yesterday but was having issues with transferring it. Got frustrated and gave up. So I will try again, and besides I've got a few other stories that I've been working on.
As far as any of my art. Forget about it. Not gonna happen. Well maybe with a little bit of wine maybe but other than that...Nope.
Well tonight I'm suppose to go to some concert ~ http://www.schubas.com/
Should be fun. Mondays nights I'm usually exhausted but I'm putting on my game face people.
Game on!!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Everyday is like Sunday~

So in Broadcast News, Holly Hunter would take time each day and have a real good sob. Then she'd get up & go about her day. I always thought that was great. In a crazy way, none the less great.
Well this brings me to my subject this morning -tears.
Ya see I'm pretty good at hiding my feelings from others. I'm pretty proud of it to be honest. My motto was never let them see you cry. Never let them think they got the best of you. But come on. I'm a girl, not some non-feeling robot, so it happens.
Well lately I've got an issue that's been kind of hurting me. So there are tears, I am a fan of sad movies-I cry at the beginning & end of The Way We Were. Everytime. But the tears that I've had as of late don't feel good. Trying to get past this "issue" is taking longer than I thought it would. In fact I'm at a loss on how to fix it. I can usually fix anything, somehow or another. Guess it's just gonna take some time. Fuey. I like things tidy & organized. I don't like not having control of a situation. Just who I am I guess.
Enough of that. Lots to look forward to this week.
Monday night I've got some concert downtown for a local band I've never heard of. But the tickets are free so why not check them out. Then Thursday I've got great tickets to see the Cubs Vs Sox @ Wrigley. That should be a blast. And yet another grad party next weekend. Oh wait almost forgot about Friday. Drinking all day with a great pal of mine, going to see The Hangover in the middle of the day. Real immature fun day with one of my best friends who is in her late 30's.
As for the tears thing? Well I think I got my weeping done for today. Just gonna let go of that.
Wish it was that easy.

Between the bars

Well I gotta numba, how ya like them apples? Watching Good Will Hunting. Just got home from a benefit. We went to another bar had a drink & some food. The night was not what we imagined. It was almost a night of realization for us. Things I guess we already knew about our own lives that came to light. Thing is when you realize certain things in your life aren't what you lead yourself to believe--I guess what I'm saying is that you know it or better yet you knew it. You just didn't want to face it.
It's alot of mumbo jumbo, but you get what I'm saying.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Satrdays alright for fighting....

So it's Saturday and I'm at home. Ran around for a few hours and have decided to create this blog to post some stories, art, among other things I create or experience.
Lately I've been doing some late night painting when I can tear myself away from Twitter. My addiction to Twitter has been a great experience so far. Met some great people and made connections to some people who I think may remain in my life. You know people come and people go in your life. There are people that you call your friends but these are people who you socialize with but don't really know the real you. You know, the messy parts. Then there are others you can trust with your life. Tell them everything. Even your most embarassing thoughts, actions and yet they don't run for the hills. Well I think I've managed to make some of those connections through Twitter. But ofcourse we shall see what time brings.
Writing has always been a passion of mine. As long as I could write I was documenting my life in journals. Then as I got older I would add poems, art that I loved. If it truly meant something to me, I would document it.
Here I am 35 years old and still doing it. Now don't get me wrong, my writing isn't like Bridget Jones. You know one page documenting. Ex: 2shags, 4 cocktails, etc. Although there are days that resemble this (minus all juicey details sorry). Although it does happen a bit like that on some occasions.
But I also write short stories that usually are based upon some experiences. I plan on publishing these, well some.
For the most part I am a private person and it takes a lot for me to let people in. You could say it's like pulling teeth to get certain feelings or issues out of me!
So let's see what happens now with this blog.

So stay tuned....